[ the intoxicating taste of fyodor's blood provides the perfect flavor to their kiss, made even sweeter by fyodor responding to it. he feels a chill run down his spine - a sign of elation; a physical manifestation of something from the other, something he so desperately wants to name for fyodor but can't. fyodor has to decide what it is, he always makes the decisions for both and this shouldn't be any different. nikolai chooses to ignore his orders if his brain tells him there's more fun to be had through a different path, but for the most part, it wants to obey fyodor despite his personal gripe.
sometimes, though… sometimes, he wishes his feelings were properly returned so he could see the point of no return and finally end this. for now, wordless affirmation - actions that look like affection but could really be anything, is enough to keep him in a death grip. fyodor's schrödinger’s feelings. a horrible, perfect balance.
still, nikolai is also human. he presses a leg between fyodor's, deepening the kiss fervently as his own body begins to react to his friend gasping for air, fingers digging deeper into the soft flesh of his throat, stopping all air and blood flow. he hums into his mouth, pushing his tongue inside deeper, hissing when fyodor's grip on his wrists increases.
he continues on for a few more seconds even after fyodor lets go, and when he doesn't move anymore, he finally softens the hold on his neck, allowing him to breathe again, pulling away from his lips to let him take in air. ]
. . . Haah. [ he looks down at his bloody face, breathing heavy, face fully flushed. ] This look suits you, Fedya.
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sometimes, though… sometimes, he wishes his feelings were properly returned so he could see the point of no return and finally end this. for now, wordless affirmation - actions that look like affection but could really be anything, is enough to keep him in a death grip. fyodor's schrödinger’s feelings. a horrible, perfect balance.
still, nikolai is also human. he presses a leg between fyodor's, deepening the kiss fervently as his own body begins to react to his friend gasping for air, fingers digging deeper into the soft flesh of his throat, stopping all air and blood flow. he hums into his mouth, pushing his tongue inside deeper, hissing when fyodor's grip on his wrists increases.
he continues on for a few more seconds even after fyodor lets go, and when he doesn't move anymore, he finally softens the hold on his neck, allowing him to breathe again, pulling away from his lips to let him take in air. ]
. . . Haah. [ he looks down at his bloody face, breathing heavy, face fully flushed. ] This look suits you, Fedya.